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Monday 26 January 2015

How To Avoid Codependency Relationships

By Karyn Shields


Being a codependent is not good for you and your partner. If you do not wish a codependency relationship with your partner, then you better make sure to not become a codependent. Being a codependent means you are simply giving to get. Being like that will just make your relationship with your partner go bankrupt.

If you want to be involved in a good relationship with your partner, then you got to do your best to avoid becoming a codependent. There should be a few tricks up your sleeve that you may take advantage of to avoid being in such a situation. If you want to improve the relationship with your partner, here are the tips you may take note of.

First, you better get yourself proper counseling. This is so that you can become healthy. You will be unable to indulge in a healthy relationship if you are unwell personally. Thus, you better aim to become healthy before you aim to improve your relationship. The latter will actually improve once you improve yourself.

Being a codependent means that you are offering what you expect you will get. If you do not wish to become like that, then you have to give your all into the relationship and expect nothing in return. You need to give your unconditional love to your partner. Appreciate and enjoy the relationship without neglecting your other relationships as well.

You got to address the cause of your pain. In every situation that you feel hurt or you get angry, there is always a cause for it. You should be willing to look for that cause behind the behavior that hurts you. You should then be willing to address that cause. Otherwise, you will not find a solution to your problem.

Be sure to understand the idea of personal boundaries between couples. Do not just respect the personal boundaries of your partner, you should also hold yours. You and your partner should make your personal boundaries clear, together with the negotiable gray areas, since these are part of a healthy relationship. Show respect to that.

Do not ever insult your partner when the two of you are in a major argument. Do not call them names nor label them. Even if you are angry, you got to make sure to phrase your words in a way that does not make your partner feel insulted. If you consistently behave this way, you can establish that pattern.

In the case when your partner is the one giving out the insult, you should not take that to heart. Instead, it is better if you turn the insults you receive from your partner into what is actually being said. Being told you are lazy might just mean that your partner feels that you are leaving all the housework to him or her.

Conflicts are inevitable when you are with a partner. It does not matter how long you two have been together or how comfortable you are with each other, there will always be a reason for a fight. If you ever get into a fight, the two of you should decide on what conflict resolution method you will use to make up.




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