Single people are not the only ones using online dating websites to find a date match. A small percentage of both married men and women use Internet dating services. But why would they do this? And if they are, is there anything you can or should do about it as their partner?
Before judging them, you should understand what their reasons may be and these could be harmless. Simply because someone in a relationship is a member of a dating website does not necessarily mean that they are cheating on you or have any intention of doing so.
Reasons Why Married Men or Women Use Dating Websites
The most common reason for someone in a relationship being a member of a website dating service is because they were doing it before you met them. They may have simply not cancelled their account because they likely forgot to or because they were more interested in YOU.
But you may think that because they are still paying membership fees that they would notice this and cancel the dating service. But what if the membership fees were paid yearly or the charge was simply overlooked? Neglecting to cancel any membership service is not uncommon. Or what if it was a free dating website they had not used for months?
Even if they may have exchanged messages with someone else, this still does not mean they are cheating on you. Harmless message exchanges in a dating forum does not prove that there is an actual affair happening.
But even so, stable relationships can become stale and motivate a man to confirm that he is still attractive to women. The same holds true for some women that seek only reassurance that they can still attract a man. This is almost the same thing as flirting, but online instead.
The Online Dating Line Married Men or Women Should not Cross
The line between being just curious, flirting and actually having an affair is different for any man or woman. Some may consider simply having the intention of signing up to an Internet dating website a violation of trust and become upset. Others may simply find such actions amusing, but still wonder why they had done this in the first place.
An important aspect is whether or not they have actually met an online date in person. If they have not actually done anything except to find out how many potential dates are available to them, then you should consider this as a signal regarding the state of your marriage or relationship. This is a warning flag that you should not ignore.
If you Suspect they are Dating Online
You have options and can either confront them about it, or completely ignore it. For many, ignoring it will be difficult and not achieve the emotional closure you may seek. But challenging them can also be hard, unless you know the right type of questions to ask.
No relationship problems can be resolved without communicating with each other and the major part of this is asking each other questions. One of those questions can be about why they are a member of a dating site, but this is likely only one of many to ask.
In spite of how angry you may possibly feel it is much easier to resolve such problems instead of just walking away from the situation. No one wins in any such scenario except lawyers and you should think very carefully before even considering this possibility.
What would you do if this were a medical or financial problem? Virtually everyone would seek the help of a professional that knows how to resolve such problems. Compared to what you may suffer from a separation or divorce, the cost is insignificant.
Emotional discomfort, financial stress, legal bills, custody issues, loss of love are just some of the problems you could face. Just ask any of your friends that have already been through these experiences.
You should ask that part of you that is angry right now if they really want that type of future. If you can see that there could be a chance to repair your relationship, then you owe it yourself to find a way to communicate. It is certainly far better than the alternative.
James Kudlak specializes in writing articles and building websites across a variety of topics such as online dating, paternity issues or insurance. Visit one of his newer website creations relating to pet insurance at http://petcarehealthinsurance.com/ which helps people select among the many Pet Insurance Plans available.
(c) Copyright - B. James Kudlak. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=James_Kudlak
Posts
