Coming up with a plan for how to get back together with your ex can be difficult work. You struggle with what you should say and what you should do until suddenly you come up with a brilliant idea. Even though you think that you're unique or that your plan makes perfect sense, all of us have come up with the same ideas at one point or another after a breakup. We all searched for that elusive key that will bring back the love that we lost.
If any of these plans sound familiar then you are perfectly normal. This doesn't mean that any of these methods will help you to find success in getting back together with the one you love but there is hope. We all have to go through stages after a breakup. The stage that you are in presently was visited by many. We all come out the other side of this process better, stronger and, if we are wise, we are able to get back together with the one we love. We all get that opportunity. It's simply a matter of when and what you wish to do with that opportunity.
Now, logic might tell you that the best way to convince someone that your point of view is correct would be to discuss the topic. This might lead you to believe that talking with your ex would be the perfect way to win them back. Simply give them a convincing argument for why you should get back together and they will surely see your sincerity and that life would be better if the two of you reunited. This is also what couples therapy is all about. If it's good enough for other couples then why wouldn't it work for you? Conflict resolution is the topic and you are prepared to resolve the problems in your relationship. This should help you to get back together for sure.
The only issue that you might run into with this plan is that your ex has no interest in getting back together. They ended the relationship. That is how they resolved the conflict. They just gave up and decided to move on. Without a desire to be with you or an emotional tie to you and your relationship, talking will only make matters worse. Your ex may agree to meet with you and discuss when went wrong in your relationship but their goal will only be to make you see that the relationship is over. They might feel guilty for leaving you and allow you to speak your mind but you're never going to be able to convince your ex to fall in love with you again. Logic has no place in matters of the heart.
There's a pretty good chance that your ex gave you many reasons why they were ending the relationship. This list of grievances may have included many things that they couldn't tolerate about you. Offering to change or actually making changes in your life might seem like a great idea. After all, if you change all the things that your ex said were responsible for their departure then there would be no reason for the breakup. You would have removed the bad things about you and improved your life to suit them.
The real reason why your ex left probably has nothing to do with the reasons that they gave you. Your bad habits or areas in your life where you may be found lacking are simply an excuse. Their complaints about you are simply a smoke screen that hides the true reason which is probably a lack of respect or a shift in the power dynamic in your relationship. Offering to change only further shifts the power and makes you appear weak and needy. Any changes that you make or offer to make will also be tainted with what your ex perceives as a desire to do anything to get them back. This will boost your ex's ego and lower your value as a romantic partner and you will be rejected again.
Finally, you might come to the conclusion that if you were simply perfect then your ex wouldn't be able to help themselves and they would be moved to take you back. By simply being perfect in every way, you could charm the socks off of your ex and everybody would agree that you were the perfect match for them. You would write wonderful poetry or send them gifts as a way of apologizing for the past. You would show them how much you love them and your ex would be so moved by your display of devotion that you would break down that wall standing between the two of you and you'd live happily ever after.
This tactic is often even more desperate than many of the others. The only thing that you will probably accomplish is to push your ex further away from you. Your ex will lose more respect for you and if you push the issue, there's a good chance that your ex could file a restraining order against you. Giving your attention and affections to someone that isn't worthy of receiving your love right now is unhealthy. Once your ex is attracted to you again then you can show your love and devotion again. Until that time, being overly nice to your ex after they broke your heart is a sign of weakness.
The true key to your success in getting your ex back is to have them fall in love with you again. You ex needs to miss having you in their life. They need to remember what it was like to be in love with the person they first met. Your ex needs to fall in love with you all over again. That love needs be born anew. No amount of talking, gift giving or change on your part is going to make your ex fall in love with you again. It will happen all on its own. That love is still there. It is simply buried under a lot of resentment, frustration and fear.
Allow some time to pass and let your ex find out what life is like without you in it. Let your ex's attitude towards you change as the days pass and time does its healing work. Soon the bad things will be forgotten and only the pleasant memories will remain. You will get that second chance that you have been hoping for but it's not going to come because of any amount of talking, changing or emotional bribery on your part. Be patient with your ex. You will find that your ex will suddenly have a change of heart one day and your opportunity to get back together will present itself all on its own. If you truly love your ex then you will give them the space that they need to work through their feelings while loving them from afar.
If any of these plans sound familiar then you are perfectly normal. This doesn't mean that any of these methods will help you to find success in getting back together with the one you love but there is hope. We all have to go through stages after a breakup. The stage that you are in presently was visited by many. We all come out the other side of this process better, stronger and, if we are wise, we are able to get back together with the one we love. We all get that opportunity. It's simply a matter of when and what you wish to do with that opportunity.
Now, logic might tell you that the best way to convince someone that your point of view is correct would be to discuss the topic. This might lead you to believe that talking with your ex would be the perfect way to win them back. Simply give them a convincing argument for why you should get back together and they will surely see your sincerity and that life would be better if the two of you reunited. This is also what couples therapy is all about. If it's good enough for other couples then why wouldn't it work for you? Conflict resolution is the topic and you are prepared to resolve the problems in your relationship. This should help you to get back together for sure.
The only issue that you might run into with this plan is that your ex has no interest in getting back together. They ended the relationship. That is how they resolved the conflict. They just gave up and decided to move on. Without a desire to be with you or an emotional tie to you and your relationship, talking will only make matters worse. Your ex may agree to meet with you and discuss when went wrong in your relationship but their goal will only be to make you see that the relationship is over. They might feel guilty for leaving you and allow you to speak your mind but you're never going to be able to convince your ex to fall in love with you again. Logic has no place in matters of the heart.
There's a pretty good chance that your ex gave you many reasons why they were ending the relationship. This list of grievances may have included many things that they couldn't tolerate about you. Offering to change or actually making changes in your life might seem like a great idea. After all, if you change all the things that your ex said were responsible for their departure then there would be no reason for the breakup. You would have removed the bad things about you and improved your life to suit them.
The real reason why your ex left probably has nothing to do with the reasons that they gave you. Your bad habits or areas in your life where you may be found lacking are simply an excuse. Their complaints about you are simply a smoke screen that hides the true reason which is probably a lack of respect or a shift in the power dynamic in your relationship. Offering to change only further shifts the power and makes you appear weak and needy. Any changes that you make or offer to make will also be tainted with what your ex perceives as a desire to do anything to get them back. This will boost your ex's ego and lower your value as a romantic partner and you will be rejected again.
Finally, you might come to the conclusion that if you were simply perfect then your ex wouldn't be able to help themselves and they would be moved to take you back. By simply being perfect in every way, you could charm the socks off of your ex and everybody would agree that you were the perfect match for them. You would write wonderful poetry or send them gifts as a way of apologizing for the past. You would show them how much you love them and your ex would be so moved by your display of devotion that you would break down that wall standing between the two of you and you'd live happily ever after.
This tactic is often even more desperate than many of the others. The only thing that you will probably accomplish is to push your ex further away from you. Your ex will lose more respect for you and if you push the issue, there's a good chance that your ex could file a restraining order against you. Giving your attention and affections to someone that isn't worthy of receiving your love right now is unhealthy. Once your ex is attracted to you again then you can show your love and devotion again. Until that time, being overly nice to your ex after they broke your heart is a sign of weakness.
The true key to your success in getting your ex back is to have them fall in love with you again. You ex needs to miss having you in their life. They need to remember what it was like to be in love with the person they first met. Your ex needs to fall in love with you all over again. That love needs be born anew. No amount of talking, gift giving or change on your part is going to make your ex fall in love with you again. It will happen all on its own. That love is still there. It is simply buried under a lot of resentment, frustration and fear.
Allow some time to pass and let your ex find out what life is like without you in it. Let your ex's attitude towards you change as the days pass and time does its healing work. Soon the bad things will be forgotten and only the pleasant memories will remain. You will get that second chance that you have been hoping for but it's not going to come because of any amount of talking, changing or emotional bribery on your part. Be patient with your ex. You will find that your ex will suddenly have a change of heart one day and your opportunity to get back together will present itself all on its own. If you truly love your ex then you will give them the space that they need to work through their feelings while loving them from afar.
About the Author:
Visit http://text-your-ex-back.highclassproducts.org/ to learn more about methods proven to help you to win your love back. Learn why your ex left and what you can do to bring them back.
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