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Thursday, 6 June 2013

How to Build Self-Confidence in a Young Athlete

By Ayman de Meijer


Having good self-esteem is a valuable commodity. A great personality coupled with good self-esteem can help you in all areas of your life be it spiritual, mental, physical, social, occupational and etc. There are many folks that are not as forward as others and may need tips on how to increase self-esteem so that they can better themselves in various aspects of their lives. Although there many ways you can go about building self-esteem, there are a few helpful and non panic tactics that you can work into your daily routine to help you gain better self-esteem. Utilize the following tactics to improve your self-esteem:

It is important to understand that players, parents, coaches and therapists spend a lot of time building youngsters' confidence.I have dozens of them.Bedtime is a great time of the day to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When you get ready to go to sleep, you can use this quiet time to build yourself up instead of dwelling on all that went wrong earlier in the day or worrying about what could go wrong tomorrow.

Tactic Two: Do not let past failures keep you emotionally downtrodden. Nobody is perfect, but we must strive to be better individuals on a daily basis. If we make a conscious decision to let our past failures keep us in the dumps, we will continue to have negative experiences and behavioral patterns henceforth. Failure is as natural as life itself; dust it off and move right along.Tactic Three: Humor your flaws. Everyone has flaws. Do not let your flaws become intrusive barricades that hinder or bring halt to your life. When you can laugh at your flaws, you will start to blossom and grow. Laughter can mend a broken spirit. Humor will help you along the journey to improve your self-esteem.Tactic Four: Love Yourself! No, I am talking about being arrogant or egotistical. Self-love is when you realize you are of great purpose and great value. You can not truly love others unless you can first love yourself.

Baby steps are the key here. If you try to do too much too soon, you will inevitably let something slip, and guess who will be watching?Choose Positive Self Talk.The primary keyword here is CHOOSE. No matter how many successes we have or how many things we do well, we continually doubt ourselves and our abilities.It might have something to do with the fact that over 75% of what we think is negative, which is completely counterproductive. With these kinds of statistics, it's no wonder we struggle to feel good about ourselves.One of the most important changes we can make in our life is choosing our self-talk.

And, the next time you go out on the field or on the court, carry some of these thoughts with you and see if you start to feel more relaxed, confident and focused with this new frame of mind.Everyone knows that women are attracted to confidence. So, a great way to attract women is to increase your self-confidence.

When you're in public and you see a very beautiful woman on the arm of a man who is plainly way out of her league, it's probably because he's the one who's had the guts to ask her out.One of my favourite sayings is - "Women go out with men who ask them". Now this doesn't mean that a woman will just go out with any old weirdo who hits on her, but that you're not going to get a woman if you don't ask her out. And often you'll be surprised at the results.

An absolutely vital and worthwhile thing to do in this case is to increase your self-confidence.Often, the way we feel is a direct result of how we act. So the first thing you're going to do is...Pretend to be confident.If you know a woman you like, but haven't had the guts to ask her out, pretend you are confident as hell, walk up to her and ask her out. Just do it.Pretend to be confident often and before you know it, you won't be pretending any more. You'll get such positive results from merely acting confidently that it's almost as though you are hypnotizing yourself.You can program yourself. As an example, if you're in an average mood and you take a deep breath, punch the air in victory and state, 'I feel great!' you'll feel great. If you hang your head, move your face into a miserable look and say, 'man, I feel awful', your mood will follow suit.Ok, that's the really important one, your personal attitude.

When doing something for the first time, imagine that you have already done it. Close your eyes, then, vividly imagine you succeeding at what you are planning to do for the first time. The mind does NOT know the difference between something VIVIDLY imagined and something real. Make it vivid by involving all 5 senses.

Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don't have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.

At university I had a fear of public speaking. My mentor asked me why and I mentioned it was because I was afraid that people would laugh at me. He asked me if I laughed at people when they were talking in public and I realised that I did not. I had thought for ages that strangers were possessed of the most negative traits and in fact most people are kind and interested, otherwise they wouldn't have been listening to me in the first place.Women are like that.

Project yourself into the future and ask if what you're faced with is as onerous as you fear. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works tremendously well. Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your life. You are surrounded by your friends and family. You're reviewing your life. Is what you're faced with now even going to pop up? That's highly unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never go for. Nothing ventured-Nothing gained. To get what you want, ask for it. If you consistently ask people for what you want, you will get it. As you think about your goals and what you are striving for, how effective would it be for you to believe that several people out there want to and would be willing to help you if you only ask? People will help because they know they might need help in the future and you might be a source. Whether that is true or not in the "real world" is irrelevant. The belief is empowering, I invite you to adopt it.




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