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Romantic Adventure

Monday 13 August 2018

Rules To Follow When Dating Muslims

By Ann Turner


Islam has a very elaborate guide on courtship and marriage. Dating Muslims are required to follow the guide, whether they met online or in the real world. There is punishment if you fail to observe these rules. Beyond being punished by the community, you will face the wrath of Allah, one whose punishment is severe.

A Muslim is at liberty to love anyone and even proceed to marry him or her. This is anchored in Islamic faith whereby people are encouraged to love and extend this love to all creation by Allah. The rules are only meant to protect those involved from hurting and also ensure that the society is not dysfunctional. This is why relationships, engagement, premarital contact and marriage are strictly guided.

The Quran does not restrict people when and where they can meet. Traditionally, a man and a woman would be introduced to each other by their parents or relatives. It means that each side had already vetted the other person and ascertained that he would be fit for their son or daughter. This was made easy by the fact that people lived together in communities and had full knowledge of each other.

As people disperse and people desire to make personal decisions on marriage, online dating takes root. It is embraced because people no longer live in exclusive societies. It also gives people an opportunity meet partners from other countries or cities. This is not a reason to break any of the courtship rules. Meetings that have their genesis on the internet must also remain within the principles set in the Quran.

The principle rule of courtship is that the partners must never be found in the same room or space without a chaperon. This seclusion is deemed dangerous because it exposes the couple to temptations of sexual engagement. When you meet online, a person must not tempt you into getting into private space. This will compromise personal integrity, leaving you hurt and destroying your courtship.

Chaperon was responsible for supervising the courtship process in the traditional society. Where this is impossible, group activities are encouraged. Gather friends, age mates or even join families during gatherings. You are not even allowed to exchange a kiss until you get married. If the family learns that you have engaged in any of the prohibited activities, you will be sanctioned. The engagement might be broken for that reason.

Halal dating is the new version that is approved by clerics around the world. You are allowed to keep in contact with your target partner through the phone or via the internet. Even introduction by parents and relatives is allowed. Once you feel compatible and decide to spend your life together, you will sign a nikah, a contract that is just as binding as the marriage certificate.

Do not mistake courtship in Islam to be devoid of love and emotions. There are enough opportunities for the couple to make up their mind about each other. They are only restricted from private interactions before marriage to protect them from being hurt as well as protect the society from broken marriages. Whether you meet online or in real life, you must adhere to the principle of separation till marriage.




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