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Romantic Adventure

Sunday, 1 June 2014

Why I Always Speak English When Approaching Girls In Tokyo

By Kaku Nanashi


"Konichiwa" or "Hello"? Bilingual playboys have differing opinions when it comes to what language one should use when approaching girls in Japan.

I've attempted it in both languages extensively. For me, it has constantly been much better to approach Japanese women in English. Bear in mind, I am not a typical foreigner so your situation could require a modification of strategy. My reasoning is as follows.

Reason # 1: To Stand Out and Avoid Sociocultural Assumptions

Most Japanese men who approach strange women and attempt to chat them up do a absolutely terrible job of it. It's just not a normal activity in Japanese culture. Therefore, it is important to differentiate yourself from these chumps by using English when you approach a Japanese girl, especially if you look Japanese like I do. Triggering a subconscious response that labels you as a chump is never a good idea.

By simply saying "hello" instead of "sumimasen", I immediately let the girl know that I am not Japanese, thus placing myself in a different category where the cultural expectations of Japanese culture do not apply. I also avoid any negative knee-jerk responses to being hit on in Japanese.

Also, when she anticipates seeing a white dude but sees my asian mug instead, it can also be an interesting surprising. If I ran into a white female who spoke flawless Japanese, I would be equally surprised. I'd certainly remember her the next day, even after a couple of rum and cokes.

Quick Filtering and Reliable Responses

Whether a Japanese girl is interested in me or not, utilizing English offers me excellent feed back that will inform me of where I stand. This is due to the fact that approaching in English is far more polarizing than doing so in Japanese. Her feedback to your opening will have more clear indications of whether she is interested or not. It also makes her to put effort into the interaction, which is never a bad thing. On the occasions where the conversation strikes a lull due to her absence of English capability, I can switch to Japanese and keep it going.

Reason # 3: Less Excuses

Waltzing up to women you don't know and initiating conversation can be stressful. And even though my Japanese is near-native level, conversing in English is still much more comfortable for me. To encourage myself to, or rather to prevent discouraging myself from approaching girls, I stick to an ultra-simple set of English phrases.

Furthermore, even though the level of English penetration in Tokyo, the most international of all cities in Japan, is pretty bad, your average girl on the street will understand basic English greetings. My advice is to just use the first English greeting that comes to mind and let the chips fall where they may.

Conclusion

As with any advice, do not take this as gospel; go out and try it for yourself. Let me know how it works for you. I'd also love to know if this works for bilinguals in other countries.




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