We are often shown how to communicate with people in an office or how to get children to behave properly. What is not always taught is how to be in a relationship. It is not an easy thing to discuss with family and friends. It is worth learning how to develop effective communication skills for couples.
The first thing is how people communicate. A lot of the time this develops from the family. Some families are very lively and discussion is actively encouraged. Other families are a bit more introspective and discussion is either considered not necessary or rude. Neither of these approaches are necessarily right or wrong and most people are usually somewhere in the middle of these two extremes.
The problem comes when two people have different styles of communication. For example what one half of the couple thinks is fun and playful banter the other person sees as harmful name calling. The danger is that this is never expressed so the other one is not aware that their behavior is destructive.
It is important to be open and discuss things as much as possible. Be clear and say what someone can do to improve the situation. Equally if they have concerns you have to listen to them as well. Some people say that compromise is important. However a compromise should not result in both halves of a couple resenting each other. Ideally both should look for a common solution that addresses their concerns and create a win win situation for both of them.
This is why you need to openly discuss any issues you may have. However there is a difference between open discussion and being overly honest. You should not resort to name calling or actively looking to seek blame for problems. This type of arguing will not lead to resolutions.
However this is an extreme circumstance. A lot of the time it is more about finding a common solution. This should not be confused with compromise which often results in neither half of a couple getting what they want. Finding common goals and solutions is better in the long term and this is something you should always strive for.
It is also fair to say that this is not something that can happen instantly. Developing a way of communicating with each other in a healthy way takes time and a patient approach. It is not always easy but over time it can begin to become easier to overcome obstacles and address issues in a calm and rational way. You will never fully get rid of stress and no expert should promise the ability to always agree. However arguments will be resolved a bit quicker and in a healthier way and ultimately lead to a more positive long term relationship.
In short developing effective communication skills for couples is something that can take time. It may or may not require professional help. Whatever happens you need to always be willing to work at it and in the long term you will benefit from the rewards of learning how to effectively communicate with each other. Look online for more information and to help find support in your local area.
The first thing is how people communicate. A lot of the time this develops from the family. Some families are very lively and discussion is actively encouraged. Other families are a bit more introspective and discussion is either considered not necessary or rude. Neither of these approaches are necessarily right or wrong and most people are usually somewhere in the middle of these two extremes.
The problem comes when two people have different styles of communication. For example what one half of the couple thinks is fun and playful banter the other person sees as harmful name calling. The danger is that this is never expressed so the other one is not aware that their behavior is destructive.
It is important to be open and discuss things as much as possible. Be clear and say what someone can do to improve the situation. Equally if they have concerns you have to listen to them as well. Some people say that compromise is important. However a compromise should not result in both halves of a couple resenting each other. Ideally both should look for a common solution that addresses their concerns and create a win win situation for both of them.
This is why you need to openly discuss any issues you may have. However there is a difference between open discussion and being overly honest. You should not resort to name calling or actively looking to seek blame for problems. This type of arguing will not lead to resolutions.
However this is an extreme circumstance. A lot of the time it is more about finding a common solution. This should not be confused with compromise which often results in neither half of a couple getting what they want. Finding common goals and solutions is better in the long term and this is something you should always strive for.
It is also fair to say that this is not something that can happen instantly. Developing a way of communicating with each other in a healthy way takes time and a patient approach. It is not always easy but over time it can begin to become easier to overcome obstacles and address issues in a calm and rational way. You will never fully get rid of stress and no expert should promise the ability to always agree. However arguments will be resolved a bit quicker and in a healthier way and ultimately lead to a more positive long term relationship.
In short developing effective communication skills for couples is something that can take time. It may or may not require professional help. Whatever happens you need to always be willing to work at it and in the long term you will benefit from the rewards of learning how to effectively communicate with each other. Look online for more information and to help find support in your local area.
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